The external world tends to fall apart while having peace and joy most of the time


The external world seems to fall into peaces. Everything I built up in my life is shaking on its fundaments.

Diffuculties to find work. Blocked bank accounts. Selling of car, discussions with government on tax payments, hunderds rejections on job applications. In five cases almost having the job and then ...... rejection.

After rejections I felt pain in my heart chakra, while not understanding the rejection. I could do this job easily, why do they not see this? Everytime something was not ok. Not enough experience in specific field. No up to date network for sales roles. To senior for the role. And so on!

Where is the magic in my life?

Very painfull experiences in my life. I lost the confidence in my intuition. I became angry with the universe. What is she teaching me? What is the purpose of this? Why am I within the 5% of people facing problems because of economic climate? Is it a collective problem and not my fault? After months you start to think differently. Something is wrong with me!

The money magic seemed to have been dissappeard but this was not true. In two cases the grace was doing its work to find 2 new tenants. One for temporarely renting out my house in Spain in april 2009 and one for renting out an office in Holland at the end of 2009.

And maybe the grace is doing its work to bring me to pain of early childhood? The situation should be embraced instead of fighting against it. So the universe is magical to make sure I will have a major life transformation? Please do it quickly and smoothly...

Magic words of Bhagavan about father relationship

father helps me with toys

And the words of Bhagavan echoing into my conciousness: In case of a financial crisis you have to set right the relationship with your father". While writing this page on november 28th of November I realize there is not one single picture of my father on this site. I have to search for, scan it and put it on this site. I have even spelled the word father wrong for years and used farther. This signifies very far away. What a coincidence!. One of my former Flower of Life students made me aware of it and did send a nice mail to tell me!

Did my father play with me when I was young?

father helps me with toys

On the picture my father is helping me to built something with Fischer Technik of which I collected many boxes. These where mechanical and electronic toys to construct whatever you wanted. I remember my mother always had to push him to play with me. This feeling of "NO" to play with me has created a lot of charge inside my consciousness.

Whenever I said "No" to my son to play with him during the last 8 years I felt guilty. I do play a lot with him according to my outer world, but from my point of view this is not the case. If I have to say "No" to him I feel strange inside. This charge of NO ruled my life and my son Ramon made me aware of it again. Many instances of charge between my father and myself I became aware of, because Ramon is in my life!

The next page is referring to the experiences of moving deeper into heart at the end of 2009 In one heart of Joy and Gratitude Hans / Jyotisha / Feather Hawk



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Oneness Effort

Oneness Effort

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Blessed by Bhagavan


Understanding Our Emotions

Understanding Our Mind

Setting your Goals

Design by Divine

Tracing our Sorrow

Facing our Shadow

Embracing our Pain

Realizing our Purpose

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