Embracing Anger inside a very contracted painful heart chakra


Barcelona 6th of May 2009

The 6th of may 2009 Oneness University organized in major cities around the world blessing evenings. I was in Spain and went to Barcelona to an invent in a hotel for everyone to join. One of the dasas Rajeev flew in from India to Barcelona for this event. I felt very close with him, because we happen to have once a very nice open conversation late at night during the level 2 process in front of the building, when I was more awake then sleepy at 1 AM.

I was on holiday in Spain and knew I needed to participate. About 100 persons participated and the room in the hotel suited perfectly for the amount of people. Participants could ask questions and Rajeev explained a few very interesting topics. Because to many people where present Rajeev decided to give oneness blessings through the 10 Oneness Blessing givers present.


It was a fantastic evening and the energy flowing through the blessing givers was very high. The 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th and 10th of May I have been in a high state with a lot of love and bliss. Such an intense feeling of love for my body and surroundings. Doing everything with a high level of attention and moving slowly. But then .....suddenly I felt a very extensive pain and contraction in my heart chakra I had never felt in my life before or did not wanted to remember. Also the palms of both my hands also felt very contracted.

When I tried to embrace it I started to hyperventilate and could not hold the embracing, because I had to breath. A lot of fear was rooted in this contracted very tied feeling in my heart. The earlier dissolved pain was mainly released in my case from the navel chakra. The pain in my heart chakra was completely new to me. For 2 weeks I tried to use the techniques of holding, embracing, asking for divine support, pray the pain to be released ...... no success. I wrote an email to Sujay the dasa who guided my level 2 process twice. He replied straight away and told me to relax a little bit more and he would pray. Because of the new European organization he suggested to ask for help from Dasas based in Italy as well.

The first 2 weeks nothing happened and then suddenly I started to become very allergic to critics by people surrounding me in my life. I have never been so angry in my life for about 4 weeks in a row in June and July 2009. Every negative word about me I could not handle and accept. I was even retaliating anger towards others. I was very angry with my life partner Linda who was for 9 years complaining about little things of me she did not like. I could not stand it anymore and was fed up with our relationship. I always thought I had no anger issue in my consciousness. I was spiritual, very sweet and a healer and the idea of having problems with anger never crossed my mind, although I have been studying emotions in great detail for many years. Was Linda the mirror of this pain for all these years? I was flabber casted about this situation.

In this case I did not trace the cause of the contraction and I am sure the high vibration of the Oneness energy on the 6th of May and the following days moved this contraction to the surface in my feeling consciousness. And again Oneness University has helped me remotely to get rid of it. This has been very kind and shows they are in existence to set men free!. Below I describe an instance of my anger in this period.

Embracing anger on calculations of my son

Helping with love and good intention others and getting a strong rejection has been a strong pattern in my life. It has been one of the most painful hurts deep inside. It is not always necessary to do regression to move through a trauma. Just looking and embracing daily emotions works as well. My son Ramon tells me he has an exam at school the next day for the tables from 1 tot 10. I ask him: "Did you practice?" he answers :"No, I have told mama about the exam". A sudden anger arises in my heart and I ask Linda did you know this? Yes she answers. Why did you not practice? I can not do these calculations from 1 to 10. Linda used to be very traumatic on numbers when she was a child and of pressure she had black outs.

I realized I had to pay more attention to Ramon regarding school and exams. I decided to help Ramon and learn him all the tricks during his six weeks holiday. When he leaves with his mother for 5 days to a camping I give him an updated version with the tricks to exercise every day 10 minutes. Linda tells me he has 5 days off and rejects the paper initially. I got furious and feel deep pain in my heart and tell her this is my role to help Ramon, because she has to accept she can not do it.


Somehow I had also a charge on these calculations and while embracing this anger feeling during an evening meditation I felt how I felt terrible at school at the age of 7. The movie of the classroom came back and I was figuring out the names of all the teachers I had from 6-12 years to move into a feeling of gratitude next to the pain. I still new them all by heart. The female teacher in class 2 at the age of 7 was Hindustani from Suriname and I was afraid for her. Once she accused me for stealing a book from the library and I remembered the following day I did not wanted to return to school anymore. It was never cleared out and she never apologized. She also had hit me on my right hand with a lineal a couple of times. I was not the only child although.

A bizarre flesh back in time and feeling very uncomfortable. I started to cry about this while meditating and holding the pain of rejection by Linda, while I had put all my love in it for Ramon. I remembered more instances of the same pattern in my life and added these to this feeling. Workshop participants I helped with a lot of pain to face their most strong emotion and in the end rejected me. Creating a Rosedale web site and being rejected by the publishing company. Healing patients free of charge from cancer and not getting any gratitude. And so on.

I realized this anger came to the surface in a short period. Afterwards I started to be more softer. Both my hands feel completely different now and the bliss of this creation I can feel in the centre of cities as well. A big energy leak has been closed and the bliss remains all the time present.

The next page is refering to the experiences of the changes in external world during 2009

In one heart of Joy and Gratitude Hans / Jyotisha / Feather Hawk




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