Experience Oneness by means of blessings to flower your heart
I hoped the pain towards my sister would be gone. But it did not. It was still there. What was going on? A friend of mine Kristel offered me to participate in a 3 day workshop on becoming financial independent. She had a ticket left over for her daughter but she was still to young to participate. The normal price for the workshop was 2495 Euro's. She had received discount, but it was still a very generous gift of her. She had received at my house 3 times an Oneness Blessing before when we took the picture you can see at the right. We will help each other with setting up businesses. As a result of the workshop we have the same mind set in place.
The workshop took place in the weekend of 11, 12 and 13 December 2009 in Amsterdam and was organized by a training company. When she suggested to participate I had to reschedule many things and make up my mind. It implied rescheduling one job application to become a franchiser trainer, not going to the 50th birthday anniversary of my brother in law - and rescheduling a visit of friends who would visit us. The anger towards my sister was so strong I did not contact them at all to say we would not come. I just could not contact them. Completely blocked. All earlier Buddhist teachings and conditionings to be kind and compasionate did not work. The anger was extremely strong at the surface.
A workshop of financial freedom
During the 3 day workshop we were pushed to evaluate 72 belief patterns on money. The number 72 is related to the geometry of planet Earth and the Universe as I had learned with the teachings of the Flower of Life school. The StarDodecahedron. It was made clear to get the physical manifestation of money you need to take mental, emotional and spiritual issues into account as well. Next to fantastic information regarding these 3 quadrants I will now only focus on the emotional quadrant.
The relationship between money and the universe was made clear. In the universe there is an abundance of stars, planets, trees, water, sand, animals, plants, light and so on. Our planet is part of this abundance. We have everything. Money is also around in abundance you only need to feel worthy for it to receive it in abundance. We were asked how many people of the 120 attendants would describe themselves as spiritual. About 50% raised there hands. Then we were asked: "Do you have abundance of money in your life now?"
In case you look into your life and you do not notice the (money) abundance only one painfull conclusion is possible. You are not (or in my perception not 100%) connected with spirit! What ever meditations you have done, how long your are meditating in your life you did not reached your full potential if there is no abundance in life. Next to spiritual masters with blessings also people like Bill Gates and Opera Winfrey are masters in there field. These conscious billionaires will give huge amounts to help and improve the conditions of many human beings on the planet. They have the means to give. They have attracted with their strong money magnet huge amounts and return it back to the universe. Otherwise their super magnet will stop, because both receiving and giving need to flow.
I was embracing one by one three emotional charged life situations. Firstly my anger about the financial debt situation on bank accounts, secondly the fact I feel sorry I do not help a lot in the house and Linda complaints all the time and thirdly I feel embaresed I do not like to maintain my 3 houses and gardens. It was the first time I forced my self to feel these charges of which 2 where clearly related to money. In addition I was in the midst of this anger towards my sister as a result of the Oneness Blessings process but did not understand where it came from. So while embracing the charges I was also very aware of the contraction in my heart, as a result of the anger.
Be aware only in 2009 - 5 years after the first contact with Oneness University - I became aware of my anger residing in my consciousness and slowly started to accept it. Earlier I simply did not accept the word anger in my dictionairy. Only people surrounding me were anger and dominant towards me. I was blaming others to stay away from my own deepest rooted pain.
Memory returned into consciousness
Suddenly I remembered an incident with my sister. When I was 10 years old I had surgery in the hospital and I had to stay there for 10 days or so. When I returned home my parents had bought be an aquarium of 90cm. When I write this I feel gratitude towards my parents, because they really did not had much money at that time. I start crying again. This aquarium became my reality, I was completely in it as a child of 10 years old. And I had made it very nice with levels, rocks, wood, different colored plants and beautiful tropical fishes. I exchanged small part of plants with one friend further down in the street and made them grow. The Latin names of the fishes I still remember 35 years later in time.
Anyway after some time passed and the aquarium was extremely beautiful and perfect one day I came back from school and guess what? My sister had taken over the maintenance of my aquarium had cutted many plants and it was very ugly. I remember I have been very angry with her that day and the days after. A small memory on this occasion was stored in my mind. It popped up earlier in Level 2 in 2007, but I was not ready to face it at that time.
During the workshop on Saturday 12th of December (12-12-2009 = 17=8) my spirit was looking from within the aquarium to the beauty and abundance of the plants and fishes. Beautiful white light within the water and an abundance of water molecules. Everything was very intense. I fully saw and experienced the world of a 10/11 year boy in complete connection with reality and spirit. The tears were dropping on the floor and my body was shaking. It was so beautiful to see and it was experienced very deeply.
My sister had not only destroyed my aquarium - a physical world - but also my spiritual world of abundance. After this happened I continued my hobby in my bedroom - while the first received aquarium remained to stay in the living room. I was breeding tropical Beta Splendeds in my bedroom in another aquarium of 60 cm and finally I even got a larger aquarium of 2 meters in my bedroom. These memories popup when writing this page. My sister was not allowed to enter my room.
This stories of 3 aquariums is reflecting my life now. I have 3 houses and had 3 aquariums!! What a coincidence! Do they exist? NO. Spiritually speaking your house is a celastial mansion, represented by a holagraphic matrix similar to a snowflog. It is simply speaking a cube in a cube as shown in the figure to the right. I do not really like to maintain or clean houses.
My sister destroyed the reality of abundance I maintained and took care of extremely well before the incident. This is why I do not deeply enjoy my houses and maintain them this time. This is why the financial situation is in place. This is why I do not help Linda in the house. The perception of the fact of this incident and not the fact itself is obvious the cause of the temporay block in my income / cashflow stream 35 years later. I have taken it extremely personal at that time and unworthyness entered my belief system.
Realize the aquarium was the only place of beauty in the house and a gateway to nature. A place of peace and harmony for me as a child. I was living in between fighting parents, a jealous sister and a father living in another world with alcohol and Havana sigars.
Her whole life my sister had been jealous with me. She was critizing me and also copying me to a large extent. I received to much attention from everyone visiting our living room and looking into the aquarium. I remember I could sit there for ours just enjoying it. She could not handle it and broke into my spiritual, mental, emotional world while my parents and she only took the physical world into consideration - like most individuals on planet Earth.
Even my life partner Linda who does not get it as well. You look to deep and to far start looking and applying for a job instead she tells while finishing writing this page!. I listen to myself or my inner guide and just continue moving back into abundance!!!!
And once again another leak closed!
The next page is refering to the experiences of embracing envy pain during 2010
In one heart of Joy and Gratitude
Published with permission of Oneness University
Blessed by Bhagavan
Understanding Our Emotions
Understanding Our Mind
Setting your Goals
Design by Divine
Tracing our Sorrow
Facing our Shadow
Embracing our Pain
Realizing our Purpose
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